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I needed a trainer, someone who could help me focus—only instead of getting defined abs, I’d get a mate (hopefully, with defined abs).

Enter Damona Hoffman, dating coach and host of the Dates & Mates podcast, who promises rapid results if I just follow a few tough-love rules....

Some are as tactless as the phone calls you describe.

Others are well-meaning, respectful men who aren’t ready for an ongoing relationship — maybe they’re recently widowed or in the aftermath of a bad break-up.

As for your male friend who said that you’re “f**k-able” but not “datable” at your age — he’s just plain wrong.

Please don’t take that destructive message to heart.

Married daters are more common than we’d like to think, says dating coach Laurel House, host of the podcast The Man Whisperer.

Her tip: “A little pre-date due diligence is smart.

My husband would have told you that I was the most willing and enthusiastic lover he ever had.

(Even Martha Stewart, who in 2013 declared in her Match profile that she was looking for a “lover of animals, grandchildren, and the outdoors.” Martha, have you considered Raya, the private celebrity dating app?

) Locking eyes across a crowded room might make for a lovely song lyric, but when it comes to romantic potential, nothing rivals technology, according to Helen Fisher, Ph D, a biological anthropologist, senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and chief scientific adviser to Match.

These days, however, the New York Times Vows section—famous for its meet-cute stories of the blissfully betrothed—is full of couples who trumpet the love they found through Ok Cupid or Tinder.

Today an estimated one-third of marrying couples in the U. met online, and as many as 15 percent of American adults have used dating sites or apps.

Search for men on dating sites:

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