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"If you don't have a guy, go get one -- don't be embarrassed, or shy, or conform to the idea it is over for you," he says.

There is this reigning paradigm that once your man has died it is all over for you. But physical touching and romance should be with us until the last twinkle." One of the disincentives for women is painful intercourse due to thinning of vaginal tissues as estrogen levels decline.

"Is it OK for a 75-year-old widow to say, 'Sex is not on my agenda any more?

' I would challenge that and say, 'Maybe you should make an overt effort to make the rest of your life as full as you can.' And that includes being daring, flaunting the stereotype.

We have learned so much from people in the disability community. Find a way to enjoy yourself with whatever limitations you may have." "The worst sexual dysfunction in this country is our inability to talk about sex," Blank says.

I know a quadriplegic man who has no feeling below the neck, but he can have orgasms from having his neck nuzzled. For example, if your partner is very overweight, there are a lot of things you can't do. "To make the leap from not talking to talking is huge.

"Not infrequently an older woman will tell me, 'I just don't give a damn about sex any more,'" Bortz continues.

"I say, 'You should, because it is important for your life quality.' She will say, "Well, is it OK to stop making love if you feel like it?

Not surprisingly, maintaining sexual function is different for men and women.

'Do it whether you feel like it or no The chaste older person. Our studies have shown that older people are sexier in attitude and performance than they have been credited for." And that performance has some interesting documentation. "People who are older get very little support from the younger generation about sex," says Joani Blank, MPH, author of Still Doing It: Women and Men Over 60 Write About Their Sexuality.

Bortz II, MD, author of We Love Too Short and Die Too Long.

Seniors, when it comes to sex, use it or lose it, says a noted sex educator. "The reality is that older people are a lot sexier than younger people think.

'You should continue to have good sex for the same reason you should continue to get good exercise: It's taking care of yourself,' she says. The common notion is that when you are old you don't -- and maybe shouldn't -- have sex. the biggest use of prostitutes is on the day Social Security checks come out," says John Morley, MD, director of the division of geriatric medicine at St. So who's responsible for the myth that sex becomes unimportant as one ages?

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