Sober recovery dating
When “Let’s grab drinks” feels like a natural follow-up to “Hi, how are you?,” saying it's difficult to navigate the world of dating while sober is an understatement, despite the fact that it's estimated that about 30 percent of all Americans don't consume any alcohol.
Part of my issue was that I staunchly avoided the recommendation that I not date for my first year of sobriety. After all, I’d been holed up in my apartment for the previous few years with only cats and cocaine for company. I just had, as they say, a “broken picker.” Another popular recovery expression: “stick with the winners.” Alas, when it came to dating when I was new, I pretty much just stuck with the losers.He admits, however, that it wasn’t that he was staunchly refusing to date so much as “it just worked out that way.I was avoiding bars and other places where I was used to meeting people.” Still others wait a year, and then turn to dating apps like Tinder and Bumble—only to encounter people whose lives revolve around drinking.Then, out there in “the field,” there are many heavy drinkers who don’t look too appealing to sober folks.There’s also the challenge of figuring out how to handle disclosures about sobriety (“I don’t drink because I used to be a drunken hot mess and oh also have a co-occurring mental health disorder” doesn’t exactly scream “great partner material” on a dating site or app). I’m over 17 years sober and it took me years of frustrating and painful efforts to find the guy I eventually committed to. The experiment didn’t go so well, but it wasn’t a disaster either.